Doesn't that sound like a nice title? I bet you're thinking of me in my pinny, reeling off little anecdotes as I'm cooking up delights from home-grown produce and locally shot fluffy little bunnies, in my 'authentic' french kitchen (the kind you see in glossy magazines, not like our neighbours actual real french kitchens) with a herbs drying over the aga and a lovely old aged dresser full of preserves etc etc etc.
Well no. This is more of a sorry tale of culinary mishaps. I shall first expain about my cooker, (electric and left by previous owners). Ever since we've been here (nearly four years now), I've unable to make one decent cake or decent pie, none of them cook right through properly and tend to burn on top, they are edible, but only just and I was not proud of them. I thought I had lost all my baking skills since moving to these foreign parts. When I cooked muffins I put it down to the little silicone muffin moulds that I had bought (can't get paper cases over here). I always thought that it took a long time to heat up, but just accepted that that was because it was a bit old.
Then recently I realised that nothing was cooking underneath, not even thin pizzas, and also realised that in order to cook anything, I was putting it right up at the top shelf. Eventually my brain cogs strated to whirr into life and I had a thought - 'why not test the cooker to see if it's working properly?'. I switched on the cooker and waited, then I bravely put my hand in, touched the bottom, it was not hot. Room temp at most. Appears therefore that the bottom element is not working and so, for the past four years, I have not been cooking anything, I have in fact been grilling everything. Grilled roasts, grilled pies, grilled pizzas, grilled cake and so on.
I've since baked a couple of batches of muffins in my mother's oven and they were perfick! Just need to find someone to fix the oven now.... My dad has said that he will do it, but then he made a built-in in wardrobe in my bedroom when I was young and it took him 9 months so am not holding my breath.
Anyway, onto this weeks cooking fest. We have a quince tree in our garden, which produced fruit in 2006 and I duly made quince jam from it, which quite frankly was so bland it was not really edible. After a couple of years of nothing from it, this year we had another crop. I have been watching them ripen on the tree (not constantly, just check on them from time to time), wondering what to do with them. Didn't want to make more jam as we have enough of the stuff in the cupboard now and of course memories of the tasteless batch. Anyway, happened to have a minute to switch on the tele the other day and came across Phil (Vickery) on This Morning cooking quinces. Oh joy! It was meant to be I decided, I must do as Phil says. I chose 'Delicous baked quince pie'.
So I went and picked first batch of quinces. Put them in pot to simmer away, at least 45 mins to an hour and a half said Phil. 'However', he said, 'It is important not to allow them to explode'. So I left them and took Isabella to school (Adrian was in house, I'm not entirely irresponsible), came back, remembered to check them, still rock hard. Go into study to faff about ordering wood for fire for winter (nothing like being organised, it was 1 October). Forget all about quinces. Eventually remember, run into kitchen. Too late, am greeted by quince mush, they have exploded. Fortunately, I had left the lid on. Then have to peel and core quinces, which for me now involves searching for bits of peel and core in amongst the debris. Having done this, I am then set to to make the 'buttery caramel sauce'. I follow instructions to a 't' and end up with a hard lump of toffee in middle of puddle of melted butter. Adrian beats it up a bit and rescues it.
Next - 'slice quinces and arrange attractively in dish where the caramel sauce is waiting'. I tip quince mush into dish and mix in sauce. I top with puff pastry and put into oven for a good grilling. It was ok, Adrian liked it, Isabella ate it, Georgia refused to even try it, even though it was pink and normally she cannot resist anything pink. (must have been swapped at birth, not my child) and I fed the leftovers to the lions, sorry my parents.
So having strained the mush before putting it into the dish I was left with a fair bit of quince syrup. Not wanting it to go to waste, I decide to turn it into quince jelly (like jam, but smooth). Not knowing how much sugar was in the syrup, I have to guess quantities and just bung a bit more in, boil it up and managed to get a set upon testing. Have decanted it into jars and it looks nice enough - all pink and firm, with just a little wobble to it. Haven't tried it yet, but hopefully something good will have come out of all this. Just have to decide what to do with remaining quinces that are ripening on tree and waiting to be picked.....
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