Sadness

This evening I feel blue.  Said goodbye to a friend this morning who has moved away.  Was perhaps not the best of goodbyes really as we were on our way out.  I would have stayed if it were a general going out trip, but it was a planned day trip and we had already been delayed (more on that later) and had to suffer the tears of the girls because of this.  We went to the shopping 'mall' (I think I may have had a whinge about the french way of doing a shopping mall somewhere on here before) at Nantes which they always say they love going to, but Adrian and I always come away from it thinking 'next time we go without the girls'.  Mostly they seem to be bored to me, but I think they like spending their pocket money in Claire's Accessories and going on the expensive old-fashioned merry-go-round.  Anyway, got a few more bargains in the sales for birthday pressies and even found a pair of trousers to fit me.  Tried on about 10 swimming costumes in the sports shop, had to take the girls into the changing room with me, only one of them vaguely fitted (of the costumes, not the girls), to which Isabella said 'Mummy, you really shouldn't wear horizontal stripes', so I left empty handed.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand, my current depression.  I've never really had a problem saying goodbye to people if I've been the one leaving, but if I'm the one left behind, I find it very difficult.  Although to put it into proportion, I'm not the one giving up lots of good friends and starting a new life somewhere new with my kids and what-have-you, but am feeling very selfish at the mo. To top it all, I made a really crass comment as she was leaving, stupid thing to say, can't believe I said it.  Why can't I think of classic stuff like 'so long and thanks for all the fish' or 'I'll always remember you - as someone I once met'.  Actually, that should be the latest 'quiz of the week'.  Where did those classic lines come from?  Answers on a postcard etc etc, usual rules and prizes apply (see first quiz of the week).  Here's a clue or two - First one, classic book and cult tv series.  Second one, tv sitcom.

Anyway, I believe that when she's in need of sleep, she does indeed read this blog from time to time, so here is my goodbye to you, oh shit, I'm crying now as I type, I wish you all the best, thanks for being my (our) friend and all the best for the future for all of you.  I'm having a glass of wine and I toast you.  Which reminds me, I was going to give you some of my special throat-warming blackcurrant liqueur to remember (or forget) me with.  Next time.  Sorry.